Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
People seldom live up to their baby pictures.
Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!