His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.
I was a poster child... for birth control!
When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.