I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.

We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.

My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.

My wife gives good headache.