I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.

I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.

When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Man, who don't like spaghetti?