I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

Hey, did somebody step on a duck?

I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.