I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.

She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit