I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.

I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'

I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.

My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles

My wife gives good headache.