One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.

When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.

We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?" He says, "You came home from work early".