I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.

My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'

I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.

I can't get no respect.

I got my first break and became a singing waiter at eighteen or nineteen. I couldn't make a living at it. I quit. Then I got married and sold aluminum siding. My wife had problems physically. It was not good.

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.