What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.
I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.