I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.