I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
My dog learned how to beg by watching me through the bedroom door.
Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.