My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.
I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.
I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.