School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.
I tell ya, with my wife, I got no sex life. Her favorite position is facing Bloomingdale's.
Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'