We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.

When I was a kid I got no respect. I played hide-and-seek. They wouldn't even look for me.

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".