It would be great if people never got angry at someone for doing something they've done themselves.
Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.