My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.
With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.