I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.

I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.