Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.
Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.