I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
It's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.
Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!
When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.