She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.

I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.