I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.

I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother