Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.

I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.

I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?" He says, "You came home from work early".