Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.

Life's a short trip. You'll find out.

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.