Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.

Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.

I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.