I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.