If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.

My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark

I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.

Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.