What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
I was a poster child... for birth control!
It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.