Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.
I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark