I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.

My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.

It would be great if people never got angry at someone for doing something they've done themselves.