I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.

A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!

My wife gives good headache.

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.