I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.

I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.

You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.

Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.