Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.