If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.
We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.