I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?

I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.

Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.

My wife had her drivers’ test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.