I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.

You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.