I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.
I can't get no respect.
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.