You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.
I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.