For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.
There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.
I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.