I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.