My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark

She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.

If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.

With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.