My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark

I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.

Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.

Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.