I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.
When I was a kid I got no respect. I played hide-and-seek. They wouldn't even look for me.