My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!

I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.

When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.