When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.