I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.

If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.