My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!

I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.

I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.

I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.