When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
Rodney DangerfieldMy parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.
Rodney DangerfieldI'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
Rodney Dangerfield