My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.

My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.