In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
I can't get no respect.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.