Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.
He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
My wife gives good headache.
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.