If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.