Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"