She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.

If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.