She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.