She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.

You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.

I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.

To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.