At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!
To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.