People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon .

She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.