When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
Rodney DangerfieldWhen you walk up five flights of stairs at four in the morning, there's definitely a hooker involved.
Rodney DangerfieldIf you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.
Rodney Dangerfield