It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!

I started over again with an image: Nothing goes right. Then when The Godfather came out, all I heard was, Show respect. With me, you show respect. So I changed the image to I don't get no respect. I tried it out in Greenwich Village. I remember the first joke I told: Even as a kid, I'd play hide and seek and the other kids wouldn't even look for me. The people laughed. After the show, they started saying to me, Me, too - I don't get no respect. I figured, let's try it again.

It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.

They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.