I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.

One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.

I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.