One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
I was a poster child... for birth control!
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.