I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.
Rodney DangerfieldI was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.
Rodney DangerfieldI asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".
Rodney DangerfieldWhen I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
Rodney Dangerfield