I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.

If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.

Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.

Man, who don't like spaghetti?