I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.

My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.