I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
Rodney DangerfieldLast Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.
Rodney DangerfieldI tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield