Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.