my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens

I can't figure women out. They put on makeup for three hours. They wear things that make them smaller. Things that make them bigger. Then they meet a man and they want truth.