my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens

I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.

She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.

I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".