I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.

I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.

I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"