I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.

I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.

She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.