If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.

We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.

...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.

Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.

With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.